Kissing a Pig Quest

Name: Kissing a Pig Quest.
Location: Femor Hills, Ab'Dendriel, Venore, Thais, Kazordoon, Carlin, Ghostland.
Requirements: Shovel or a substitute, Rope or a substitute, Machete or a substitute, Inkwell, Fire Bug, 3 Beer, 5 Pick, atleast 60 level.
Useful items:Dwarven Ring.
Reward: Firlefanz.
Monsters: Spider, Poison Spider, Bug, Scorpion, Goblin, Skeleton, Dwarf, Dwarf Soldier, Dwarf Guard, Ghoul, Stalker, Ghost, Mummy, Demon Skeleton, Giant Spider, Banshee.

Information

It is only important to kiss when our kissing skills are perfect. While gaining experience, we will not have to return to the pig. It is important to perform the activities in the black frames.

Performance

We go to Donald McRonald's farm. There we meet a certain unusual pig, who says that her name is Shantalla and she was a princess, but through the curse of an evil witch she was turned into a pig. We try to remove the charm with a kiss:

• Player: hi
• Pig: Oink.
• Player: kiss
• Pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss?
• Player: yes
• Pig: Uh. Uhm. That was ... unskilled. Sorry, you have to learn MUCH about kissing.

It turns out that we don't know how to kiss at all. In order to do so, we'll have to visit a lot of people who know how to do it:

Caramellia, trapped in a tower in the Femor Hills.

As there is grass blocking the entrance in front of the tower, we will have to cut it down. However, this is not so easy, as it has been enchanted. We need to train ourselves to cut the grass. The right place will be the garden of Hoggle, who tried to raise fish in it. We go to him and talk to him:

• Player: hi
• Hoggle: Welcome to my humble home.
• Player: garden
• Hoggle: My garden is full of wild-growing plants and my back is aching like hell. Perhaps you are interested in cutting these pest plants ...
• Hoggle: I'll give you 5 shiny pieces of gold for this job. Is this a deal?
• Player: yes

The old fisherman promised us, in exchange for helping us mow the garden, 5 gold coins. We go down a floor below, go behind the door with the red handle and cut the grass growing there. For the task to be completed, we must go to the eastern part of the garden.

After that, we return to the principal and write:

• Player: hi
• Hoggle: Welcome to my humble home!
• Player: garden
• Hoggle: I hope you were diligent and accurate. Here is your gold. Don't spend it on alcohol or tobacco!

We get the promised reward and can now go visit Caramellia.

We go to the tower at Femor Hills, and talk to Caramellia:

• Player: hi
• Caramellia: Hello.
• Player: Winfred
• Caramellia: All is lost. With Winfred dead, my love has died and I am only an empty shell without hope or purpose.
• Player: true love never dies!
• Caramellia: Those were his words, weren't they?
• Player: yes
• Caramellia: Yes, it's true, he is so right. As long as I remember the love and happiness we shared, neither love nor my beloved will be truly dead ...
• Caramellia: They will always have a special place in my heart. Thank you stranger, for reminding me about it. Know that life is like a kiss of lovers ...
• Caramellia: It's about sharing emotions and feelings, it's about knowing that you are not alone but belong to something greater, something more beautiful ...
• Caramellia: Keep this in mind and your life will improve and so will your kisses.

We have received our first kissing lesson. We can now go back to the princess and try to kiss her:

• Player: hi
• Pig: Oink.
• Player: kiss
• Pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss?
• Player: yes
• Pig: Uhhh. Well, that was ... promising. But you are FAR from being the best kisser in the land.

We learn that the kiss was promising, but we must continue to learn.

Elvith, the bard of Ab'Dendriel.

We go to the elven city and look for a music store located in the north.

We talk to the musician, as follows:

• Player: hi
• Elvith: Ashari Player.
• Player: kiss
• Elvith: I will not share the secrets of kissing with someone not worthy. Impress me! Write a good love poem and then show it to me ...
• Elvith: You can buy poetry parchment at the Thaian embassy. Use an inkwell on it to write a poem.

The bard, however, does not intend, to share his secrets, with someone unworthy of this honor. To surprise him, we have to write a love poem. We go to the embassy of the kingdom, located in the south of Ab'Dendriel, and talk to Olrik:

• Player: hi
• Olrik: Greetings, Player. This is the post office. May I help you? Ask me for a trade if you want to buy something. I can also explain the mail system.
• Player: poetry parchment
• Olrik: Do you want to buy a poetry parchment for 60 gold?
• Player: yes
• Olrik: Here you are.

We can buy several pieces of Poetry Parchment right away, because we won't succeed in writing a poem every time. We need to use an inkwell on the paper. We may make a mistake while writing, so we will then need another piece of Poetry Parchment.

• It says 'Roses are red...'.
• Or: (No change.)
• It says 'Roses are red, violets are blue...' Sounds good, but what now.
• Or: (It says 'Roses are red, and so is my blood.' Damn, that sounds stupid. You have to start over.)
• It says 'Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet...' Very poetic, now for the final rhyme.
• Or: (It says 'Roses are red, violets are blue, I love blood and carnage...' No, no, this is a war poem.)
• It says 'Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you.' Excellent!.
• Or: (It says 'Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, there's mud on my shoe.' You blew it.)

When we finish writing the poem, we return to Elvith.

• Player: hi
• Elvith: Ashari Player.
• Player: poem
• Elvith: Do you have a love poem that might impress me?
• Player: yes
• Elvith: You are a pure genius! You should really consider writing a few songs for me. It's a pleasure to share my little secrets with you. So listen <whisper> <whisper>.

We have learned another secret of kisses, so if we want to we go back to the Pig and write:

• Player: hi
• Pig: Oink.
• Player: kiss
• Pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss?
• Player: yes
• Pig: Mhmm. Nice try. You definitely have some experience but you should improve your skill DRASTICALLY.

A pig will say it was a nice try, but to really kiss well, we need to gain a lot more experience.

Lynda, priestess of the church in Thais.

We go to the Hard Rock Tavern in Venore, where we talk to Boozer, located on the top floor:

• Player: hi
• Boozer: Welcome to the Hard Rock Racing Track, Plan Paudy.
• Player: trade
• Boozer: Sure, take what you want.

We buy Lynda's favorite Ice Cream Cone from him. You should hurry because they will melt after a few minutes. You can send them by Parcel, or take a boat. We go to the church in Thais, which is located in front of the castle:

• Player: hi
• Lynda: Welcome in the name of the gods, pilgrim Player!
• Player: venorean ice cream
• Lynda: Are you saying you have ... some Venorean ice cream for me???
• Player: yes
• Lynda: Oh, that is marvellous. Thank you very much. You know, I just LOVE ice cream! Of course it can't be compared to the love to the gods ...
• Lynda: To truly love is pure happiness of heart and soul. <She tells you much about pure love and devotion. You learn a lot for life.>

The priestess answered us a lot about love, so we can go to the farm again and write:

• Player: hi
• Pig: Oink.
• Player: kiss
• Pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss?
• Player: yes
• Pig: Mhmmm. Oh my, you have learnt a few tricks indeed. But it takes more to become the best kisser in the world. FAR more.

We continue to have to learn, so we're on our way:

Zebron, the gambler from the Hard Rock Tavern in Venore.

While there, prepare some money to play with him, because if we lose, we'll have to give him 25 gp.

• Player: hi
• Zebron: Greetings, high roller. So you care for a game, Player?
• Player: kiss
• Zebron: Ah, love is the most exciting game of all. I've learnt a few tricks of this game, too and I might share them with someone worthy.

The gambler promised to tell us his secret if we beat him in the game. We draw the dice and three times in a row we have to draw a number greater than Zebron did. We continue the conversation:

• Player: hi
• Zebron: Greetings, high roller. So you care for a game, Player?
• Player: worthy
• Zebron: If you want to learn my kissing secrets, you will have to beat me in a game of dice first! Your bet is 25 gold a game, beat me 3 times in a row and I will tell you all my littlesecrets. Are you interested?
• Player: yes
• Zebron: You win with <nasza liczba> over <liczba Zebrona>. You'll keep your 25 gold this time. Are you ready for another game?
• Player: yes
• Zebron: You win with <nasza liczba> over <liczba Zebrona>. You'll keep your 25 gold this time. Are you ready for another game?
• Player: yes
• Zebron: You win with <nasza liczba> over <liczba Zebrona>. I'm mildly impressed. You've beaten me 3 times in a row, so what? Oh well, now listen to my secrets: <whisper> <whisper> <whisper>. Interesting, isn't it?

We write yes until Zebron speaks out as above.

• Player: hi
• Pig: Oink.
• Player: kiss
• Pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss?
• Player: yes
• Pig: Mhm Uhhh. Not bad, not bad at all! But you can still improve your skill a LOT.

There are still many, unfathomable secrets of kissing so we go to Kazordoon, specifically to the Dwarf Mines.

A Dwarven Ghost, in the collapsed tunnels of Grothmok.

We find Budrik, located in the second mine, and establish a dialogue:

• Player: hi
• Budrik: Hiho, hiho Player.
• Player: Grothmok Tunnel
• Budrik: The tunnel is strictly off limits. It's full of ghosts and undead. However if you want to enter the tunnel, I don't mind. ...
• Budrik: It's your life, not mine. Still I won't grant you permission so easily. If you want me to do something for you, you have to do something for me first. ...
• Budrik: I need 5 new picks for the boys. Bring them here and I'll grant you entrance to the sealed tunnel.

The supervisor promised to allow us to enter the tunnels, but first we will have to bring five picks for the miners. We were able to buy them during the previous mission. Once we have them we talk to Budrik again:

• Player: hi
• Budrik: Hiho, hiho Player.
• Player: pick
• Budrik: You brought the picks?
• Player: yes
• Budrik: Not the best craftsmanship but they'll do. As promised I grant you permission to enter the Grothmok tunnels. Good luck.

Head to the collapsed tunnels with the map.

Go through the door in the walled-off corridor. Along the way we will meet several ghosts of slain miners, so it is worth taking magic runes with which to defeat them. At the end will be A Dwarven Ghost.

• Player: hi
• A Dwarven Ghost: Do not disturb the dead for nothing, mortal.
• Player: kiss
• A Dwarven Ghost: My secrets about kissing have died with me. I alone know them, so they are well kept ... But ... thinking about it ...
• A Dwarven Ghost: Not all of my secrets are really well kept. There is one thing you could do for me, mortal. One favour by you to gain a favour of me.
• Player: favour
• A Dwarven Ghost: I don't want the legend about myself to be ruined. Therefore, I need you to do something for me. Go to my quarters in Kazordoon ...
• A Dwarven Ghost: In my drawer you will find ... a false beard ... don't ask any questions mortal! Light the coal basin in my chambers and burn the damned beard in it ...
• A Dwarven Ghost: If you are done, forget that you have ever entered my quarters. Come here and I will tell you what you want to know!

A Dwarven Ghost, before telling us his secrets, asks us for a favor. He doesn't want the legend of him and his magnificent kisses to fall, so he asks us to go to his apartment in Kazordoon, light a torch and burn the Fake Dwarven Beard inside, which is in a box in the room.

Once this is done, return to the Grothmok tunnel and talk to the ghost:

• Player: hi
• A Dwarven Ghost: Do not disturb the dead for nothing, mortal.
• Player: beard
• A Dwarven Ghost: Indeed, you have served me well. Now my legend is preserved once and for all. I will grant you the knowledge that you are seeking. Hereby, I pass a portion of my knowledge to your mind ...
• A Dwarven Ghost: Ahhh, it's done. Now you know as much about kissing as I did during my lifetime.

We can go to the princess again and kiss her:

• Player: hi
• Pig: Oink.
• Player: kiss
• Pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss?
• Player: yes
• Pig: Ahhh. That was really nice. But you STILL lack the refinement of perfection.

We haven't perfected it further, so we're off to Carlin.

Drinker Toothless Tim, from the sewers in Carlin.

We go to Carlin and enter the sewers at the depository. To understand toothless Toothless Tim, we will have to drink three beers. We can buy them in Carlin, but it is recommended to bring your own supply because here a cup of beer costs 20 gp. We drink them and then start a conversation with the local drunkard:

• Player: hi
• Toothless Tim: Greetings my friend. What a splendid day we have, don't you agree.
• Player: kiss
• Toothless Tim: Ah, the joyous art of kissing is a sophisticated thing indeed. In my youth I enjoyed the delights of kissing with a few fine ladies. Would you like to learn more about kissing?
• Player: yes
• Toothless Tim: I could tell you much about kissing but I rather show you how to kiss properly. Are you prepared?
• Player: yes
• Toothless Tim: Mhmmmm. You don't kiss bad for a guy.

After a short training, we learned another trick.

If we want to, we put on the Dwarven Ring and go to the Pig we are talking to:

• Player: hi
• Pig: Oink.
• Player: kiss
• Pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss?
• Player: yes
• Pig: Mhm. Ahh. In ... incredible ... but ... I fear there's still something to learn for you.

It turns out that we can still learn something.

The Queen of the Banshees in the underworld of the Ghostland.

If we have already done The Banshee Quest, we can skip this part. If not, we'll have to complete it to receive the queen's kiss.

Completion

Once we've taken lessons from all the people mentioned earlier, it's time to bestow a kiss on the enchanted queen.

• Player: hi
• Pig: Oink.
• Player: kiss
• Pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss?
• Player: yes
• Pig: Uhh. Ahh. Mhm. By the gods, you are really and truly the best kisser in the whole land. But ... I'm afraid I have to confess something ...
• Pig: There is no curse. I'm nothing than an ordinary pig that is able to speak by coincidence and loves to kiss. But your efforts shall not go unrewarded ...
• Pig: Of course I can't marry you - my mother would turn on her skewer. But I can tell you the hiding-place of some ancient sword ...
• Pig: Look in the basement of this farm. You should find a chest there containing the mighty Firlefanz.

It turned out that the pig, is just an ordinary pig, fond of kissing. In any case, it tells us, about a powerful, ancient sword (Firlefanz), hidden in the basement of the farm.